


The Journey Back

by Jbears



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Civil War, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Nicole as a soldier, Pining, Soldier in disguise, The feels, but i'm just going with it, probably overly melodramatic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:47:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22080451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jbears/pseuds/Jbears
Summary: She ran a hand down the newly purchased clothes, adjusted the tie at her neck. She kept her Union Army service kepi on her head, a small symbol of not only comfort and habit, but one of pride. Regardless of the circumstances that had come while wearing it, she was proud of her experience, of who she had become. It would never leave her.The water running beside her, Nicole took the last path, one so familiar, to the place she’d longed to come back to since the day she left. She imagined Waverly there, immersed in a novel or her journals, serene in the cool fall air. Her pace sped.Nicole and Waverly's journey back to each other, finding themselves along the way. A Civil War Era AU
Relationships: Perry Crofte/Waverly Earp, Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Champ Hardy, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 33
Kudos: 276





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year!  
> Been working on this one a while and have it written, although I might go through it and make sure it's where I'd like it to be. But wanted to get past the nervousness and actually post the thing.  
> Should be relatively short chapters.   
> Hardest part I think was breaking this up in a logical way. Hopefully it's not too short though.
> 
> Let me know what you think!

**_1864 - The North_ **

Sunset landed below the rolling hills miles away, through the trees that shone thousands of individual hues of red and orange and yellow, matching the sky as they gathered shadows. The last of the greens growing ever darker through the hemlocks that were scattered throughout. A small dirt path cut through the trees and a stream ran along the other side of the path, guiding the way.

Nicole Haught collapsed at the base of a rock wall well hidden off the path, exhausted. The day of traveling had been long enough and she decided to make camp, but the energy to do so alluded her. She rubbed her chest, the constant binding discomfort coming through the rough navy blue uniform, the tattered wool. Taking out her canteen, she greedily swallowed half of it, knowing the stream nearby would provide all she needed.

She leaned back looking into the shadow ridden golden leaves hanging loosely above her and relaxed for just a moment, thoughts mercifully silent. She closed her eyes.

_ “ _ _ Fall back!” the Colonel screamed across cannon fire and the undertone of men’s shouts and pops of gunfire, “Reform the ranks!” _

_ And then the distant cannon became an explosion as bodies scattered with the particles of earth that the ball had crashed into, along with screams and then eerie silence as the world shook around them. _

_ Nicole looked up at the sky, smoke fading into the clouds above it, a strange calm settling before reality came crashing back. Any pain she felt was masked by the load of adrenaline coursing through her. She rolled over to see another soldier, body contorted and life barely hanging in his eyes. _

_ He begged to see someone…she couldn’t understand who. He whispered to her as she took his hand, risking the moment of exposing herself to further fire but realizing she’d likely be the last person he saw. _

_ “I told her I’d come back,” he mumbled. “...Wanted to marry her…” _

Nicole’s eyes jutted open, her breathing she forced to regulate while her heart raced. She looked down at her hands to find black crimson stains covering them as they shook uncontrollably, shocking her again.

She snapped her eyes shut once again letting the darkness wash away the memories. When she opened them, the blood had vanished.

***

Waverly Earp saw it, in the distance. The dense forest spread itself open with a larger path, the creek becoming wider as it flowed toward the open field just at the horizon. An ancient oak faced the stream in the clearing, it’s low branches reaching out onto the water. The meadow spread in front of her, laced with wildflowers late in the season. As she approached the tree, the reality that she was alone, once again, struck her. She reluctantly looked around, knowing no one else was there. She felt it. She pressed her palm to the rough but familiar bark just in front of her face, letting memories wash over her. 

_ Waverly, nose in her latest acquired volume on French history, knowing each step through the wood, meandered toward her secluded and favored reading place. When she looked up, however, she was startled to find another person sitting atop a long thick branch that extended over the water, someone in trousers but with long red hair pulled back and tied.  _

_ No one knew of the place but her. It was hers. Her temper flared. _

_ “Hello,” she said evenly. _

_ The redhead noticed her and smiled brightly. She swiftly climbed from the branch back toward the trunk and swung her legs down so that she was right above Waverly but not out of the tree. Waverly, after staring a moment too long into deep brown eyes, recognized the girl. _

_ “Hi there! Been meanin’ to introduce myself. I’m Nicole. Nicole Haught.” she said, holding out her hand. _

_ Waverly shook it dumbly, not expecting the cheerful reaction. _

_ “And you’re Waverly Earp. Quite the popular girl around here.” Nicole added. _

_ “You’re the new girl at school. Just moved here.” Waverly responded with more bluntness than intended. _

_ Nicole’s smile faltered for a moment, “That’s right. Moved here from some ways south with my pa and brothers.” _

_ Waverly realized she was still scowling. Her reputation as the ‘Nicest person in Purgatory’ wouldn’t be tarnished now. She plastered on a smile. “It’s nice to have you here in town then, Nicole.” She realized she meant it, then, not knowing precisely why. _

_ Nicole’s genuine smile immediately returned, but Waverly was still quite unhappy with the invasion of her sacred space. _

_ “It’s lovely to have you in town, but I… this is…” she stumbled, feeling a bit ridiculous. “This is my… place.” _

_ “Is this your property? I had no idea! I was just out with some free time and my thoughts and stumbled on it.”  _

_ “No! No, it’s not my property. I believe it’s Randy Nedley’s, but he doesn’t much care. It’s just it’s… mine. No one comes out here.” Waverly attempted to explain. _

_ “Ah.” Nicole seemed to contemplate. “Well come up here with me!” The tall redhead shouted down from one of the higher branches, climbing down with expert stealth to the bottom branch and holding out her hand. _

_ Waverly remembered the eager look on the beautiful face, the playfulness, and the joy found there. Before it had faded. The sun shined so brightly behind her, the leaves of the tree breaking it into intricate patterns across her skin, nearly leaving her silhouetted. The sight itself beckoned her up, even without a further plea. She almost gave in. _

_ “I am absolutely not climbing up there,” she said instead. She gestured to the book she was holding. “I like to sit down here.” _

_ “Why, miss Earp, don’t you trust me?” Nicole said. Waverly remembered it was the first of countless times she was blinded by Nicole’s dimpled smile. _

_ “I am perfectly content sitting right here, thank you,” she sat down and refused to look up, determined to hide the smirk that fought its way across her lips. _

_ “Well, I must say it is the loveliest of views,” Nicole said softly, almost reverently. Waverly blushed at the thought that perhaps it wasn’t the landscape Nicole spoke of. _

__

Her heart warmed at the memory, being one of so many that brought her comfort each time it came to mind. But with a warm heart came the familiar ache of longing. She leaned back and gazed up into those same leaves as they swayed ever so gently in the morning breeze. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments, hope you enjoy this next piece of the story.  
> Looking into a few more memories between Nicole and Waverly.

The water was frigid in the cool fall morning, but Nicole had long found herself used to it. Countless secret baths had sharpened her senses to her surroundings and numbed those that felt the steely cold temperatures. The pile of old wool, the uniform, sat waiting to be washed, the first civilian clothes she’d owned in years sitting beside it. 

She carefully but quickly removed the all too familiar strip of muslin that was her constant garment from her chest, feeling the relief from its binding for the first time in so long, the marks and grooves it left in her skin. She had once thought them the proud marks of the life she was able to live. Now she was not as sure. 

Dipping under the surface, she let the cold spring water wash more than just the dust of travel from her bones. She ran her hands through her short locks, remembering other hands running through it when it was much longer. 

_ “I got in your tree earlier, and you know I hate it. You get in this water right this instant,” Waverly stood waist-deep in the rocky stream, hands on her hips.  _

_ Nicole once again sat in her usual spot in the tree, feet dangling from a branch that jutted out over the water. She could have easily swung down and dipped into the cool water as requested but was quite enjoying the site of the other woman standing in the water in just her undergarments, hands at her hips and her classically stubborn look adorning her face. _

_ But as much as she contemplated staying where she was just to aggravate the other woman, she had long ago realized her inability to deny Waverly Earp anything at all. _

_ With practiced ease she shed the shirt and trousers she had stolen from her older brother and threw them ashore, leaving her likewise in an undershirt. She grinned at Waverly. _

_ “Don’t you dare, Nicole Haught,” she gave a deadly warning, undermined by the grin pulling at the corner of her own mouth. _

_ An enormous splash of water was accompanied by a gasp from Waverly, now soaked, standing in the water, which distracted her momentarily. She screamed at the top of her lungs when something grabbed her ankle, only to have Nicole surface beside her immediately after. Waverly playfully flicked water at her, Nicole ducking back into the water and grabbing Waverly’s waist, pulling her into the stream with her, both of them laughing. _

_ Waverly shrieked, coming back to the surface gasped and pushed her long hair from her face. She immediately dove back at Nicole, landing nearly back in the water herself, her arms wrapped around Nicole’s neck, impossibly close to her. They both froze at the realization of their nearness. Nicole could see the streaks of individual color in her hazel eyes that stared intently at her before they flickered to her lips. The air seemed to still, the water and trees grew quiet. _

_ And then Waverly closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to Nicole’s. _

_ Never in Nicole’s wildest dreams could she imagine Waverly Earp doing such a thing, as much as she had wanted it. _

_ In the few years they had known each other Nicole had realized her attraction to Waverly, not only for her beauty but her mind and her heart. She feared it. She was terrified of the feelings that had continued to grow for her, that she would ruin the precious friendship she had been gifted. That she would lose the laughter they brought each other, the peace they found in their time alone, the friendship she had been gifted. She feared Waverly knowing, discovering Nicole’s infatuation for her and not reciprocating. But as perverse as she was taught such feelings to be, she couldn’t help but want it. She wanted to be the one to bring a smile to Waverly’s face. To comfort her, to hold her. _

_ And as much as she feared it, Nicole was her truest self in the times she was with Waverly. For her father and brothers, she was seen as the caretaker and another worker with them. To everyone in town, she was the quiet outsider. But with Waverly, she was Nicole.  _

_ She often hid it under the guise of bravado, teasing Waverly or playing off the affection that she couldn’t seem to shake for the other girl. But it had always been there.  _

_ Knowing it was not all in her own imagination was a gift beyond her perception.  _

_ As she pressed closer, kissed Waverly back, she didn’t care about any risks. It was worth it to know that the prettiest, kindest, smartest girl in town was smitten with her as well. Waverly Earp was kissing her, right there in their spot, soaked from head to toe in the cold stream. _

_ “You are the worst,” Waverly whispered, a light in her eyes. Nicole kissed her again. She felt the hot mouth contrast the cool air, Waverly’s tongue begging for entrance which she greedily accepted and pulled her ever closer, the sheer fabric of their undergarments being the thinnest of barriers. _

_ Nicole kissed her soundly through their smiles, feeling hands run through her long red locks, desiring nothing else than being ever closer to the woman in her arms.  _

***

Waverly stood with her feet in the stream, watching the gentle breeze throw ripples through the surface around them. She watched minnows school about, the water clear and cool. 

The water was theirs. This place of hidden respite from the grueling world around them. Steady and sure, but ever-changing. It was theirs while the world around seemed to have sparked a fire, nearly burning everything to the ground with war. But then they had each other when it had begun. Every day more and had more left, their world trudging on, that place being the only one of solace. Their sanctuary together, as hidden as it was, the outside world seeming to shrink around them but never managed to invade.

As she looked behind her over the meadow, she saw the sun making its descent from the afternoon sky, the field as empty as it had been hours before, the treeline silent. She stepped from the water and collected her things, knowing she would have to wait to come back. So many responsibilities in her life, pressures for her time. It would be far too long for another day to come, time alone in her memories there.

_ “It’s nearly sunset,” _

_ “When will I see you again?” Nicole looked over at her as they lay in the tall grass, cocooned together for moments longer, taking in the last of their day together.  _

_ “You’ll see me Sunday morning at church, or Shorty’s, or the school, of course. Your father is doing more repairs on the schoolhouse just this week. Surely you’ll be helping him,” Waverly said with a weak smile. She knew that was all they could have.  _

_ A look of disheartenment flashed across Nicole’s typically stoic features. “If James Hardy doesn’t volunteer first…” _

_ Waverly said nothing, but instead tightened her grip on the other woman’s hand in her own.  _

_ James, or Champ as he insisted on being called for his amateur roping skills, had been pining for Waverly’s affections for quite some time. He was the son of the town mayor. Nicole was the youngest and only daughter of the local carpenter and had been his assistant as of late as her older brothers had been in the last batch of volunteers for the Union army. Champ, however, seemed to be stepping in at any opportunity, being one of the only men of his age left in town. Each time he took a job from Nicole, Waverly sensed that it stripped another layer of her confidence away, even though she was a better craftsman than him. All because of the expectations of being a woman. _

_ Each time, Waverly would be forced to endure Champ as he attempted to woo her, to offer a hand in help to her from a carriage, or speak kindly to her father, the town sheriff, in hopes to win his blessing on a proposal to her. She would politely decline requests of walks together around town or brush her hand off after his touch. Her heart broke each time she saw Nicole catch the actions. Waverly would see her eyes cast down and shoulders slumped, or her strong jaw clenched in anger at the thought of Champ touching her. _

_ Waverly’s heart belonged to Nicole. _

_ She wanted nothing more than to walk proudly through town with her arm in Nicole’s, for the whole of Purgatory to know their love. She wanted Nicole to know that Champ would never compare to her, never had the place that only Nicole held in her soul. But she could tell Nicole those things only so much, never being able to show her. From the day they both discovered what they felt for each other, it became a secret between only them. _

_ “Do you ever want to see more than this?” Nicole asked, her voice quiet and contemplative. _

_ Waverly looked at her again, meeting her eyes, “With you, I’d want to see the world.” _

_ Nicole simply nodded and looked back to the sky for a moment. She got to her feet and held out her hand for Waverly, knowing their time was gone for the day. Just before they left, after their things were packed and their day of each other came to a close, Nicole wrapped her arms around Waverly, tucking into her back. Waverly melted into her embrace. _

_ Nicole spoke softly into her ear, “I love you. Wherever your heart is, that’s where home will be for me.” _

_ Waverly turned in her arms and kissed Nicole with all the love she could muster. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on Twitter and attempt to be active! @jbears20


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more feels coming at you, this time just from Nicole.  
> Let me know what you think!

The small fire cracked loudly in the quiet night, its warm glow illuminating the surrounding trees in golden shadows, a contrast to the bright cold light of the moon shining down from above. Nicole lay on her back looking up into the night sky. Few stars were visible in competition with the shining full moon, but she knew they were there. She wondered who might be looking at those same stars somewhere far away. Perhaps Waverly would see them that night.

She rolled to her side and fished through her pack, finding the bound, dog-eared journal she was searching for, the one she’d protected at all costs. It had given her comfort on many nights such as that one. She opened it, scanning through the worn pages, running her fingers across the familiar penmanship. She’d stolen it from Waverly when she knew she was leaving, and Waverly had let her take it when she found out. It was filled with curious notes, research, journals, and thoughts from the other woman, and Nicole cherished the small connection. It was a look into the brilliant mind of her lover, her voice coming through on each page. 

With Waverly’s voice in her mind, she found an old, worn tin-type tucked within the journal pages. Waverly had given it to her that last day, despite her anger, her heartbreak. Nicole would often gaze at it on nights such as that one, listening from her tent to the soft music the men in her unit would play throughout the camp, songs of their own loves waiting at home. She was alone now and realized she missed the camaraderie, the times with fellow soldiers that she had grown close with. Ones she had defended, and ones that had sacrificed for her. 

She’d been caught with the tin-type once by a fellow soldier, and given hell for how soft her eyes were while looking at it. She had gone along with it, accusing him in front of a group that he was jealous. She remembered that night the men telling stories of the women they loved, that they would marry one day, or the children they had left. At the time she thought it only helped her disguise, joining in, but she remembered now the pride she took in knowing someone as intelligent and beautiful as Waverly Earp had her heart, and in those moments, that others could see her love. 

But in the quiet night, their memories, the worn journal, and the image in her hands were her lifeline. It was a sort of sweet torture of its own kind. Through it she remembered the eyes that had always held her captive, the soft curve of her neck or the hands that had clung to her in passion. It was the woman who had been her constant in the storm, warmth in the cold.

The woman she’d left.

_ It had been nearly a month since their last time together. A month of seeing but not touching, talking but not speaking, looking but not holding.  _

_ The periods seemed to grow longer and longer as Waverly had taken the position as the town school teacher. Nicole had continued to aid her father alongside Champ Hardy. As they worked, she'd catch Waverly’s eye from the roof of the school house she was helping patch, often Champ thinking the adoring look being given was for him. She would take solace in the small brush of their fingers as Waverly handed her a glass of lemonade, or complimented her work specifically. But she longed to be with Waverly, unguarded. _

_ And so it further pained her knowing that she was holding back part of herself even in their precious time together as they sat in their tree, silently. Every thought racing through her mind of how to tell Waverly her plans sat log-jammed behind her tongue, unable to get out. She looked down at their hands, Waverly’s atop her own, her thumb gently stroking back and forth in a motion that Nicole realized was to calm her own anxieties as well.  _

_ But Waverly spoke first, in a quivering whisper, “James asked my father for his blessing last night.” _

_ Silence spread between them. _

_ “I’m not surprised,” Nicole eventually mumbled back. She did not add that even as she wasn’t surprised, her heart sank its final distance, and her resolution to her plans hardened into finality.  _

_ “Is that all you have to say?” Waverly looked at her, eyes clouded. _

_ “I have to get out of here, this town,” Nicole said after another painful pause. “I’ve needed to for a good long time. I can’t sit here anymore and hide in broad daylight, watching someone else take away everything that means something to me. It’s poisoning everything good we have with each other.” _

_ Waverly simply looked at her, confusion marring her features. Nicole’s sadness turned to anger at that moment, when Waverly said nothing. _

_ “Do you expect me to just wait here and watch it happen? Watch him marry you?” She asked, nearly frantic. _

_ “I want to be with you, Nicole!” Waverly yelled back, desperation coloring her voice. It was the only thing she knew. _

_ The damn broke free, their silence to each other shattered. _

_ “Think of the day they find out about us, Waves.” _

_ “They haven’t yet! We’re safe. Just stay, we’ll figure it out together. Don’t run away from me.” _

_ Nicole got out of the tree. She hesitated in her plan, but had to try as she held out her hand to Waverly, “...Then come with me.” _

_ Waverly nearly laughed in her panic. “And do what? How would that work? Where are you even going? You haven’t told me any of this!”  _

_ Nicole knew Waverly could not join her where she planned to go, but she selfishly hoped for some way to show itself. She knew she could never pull the other woman away, either. She was too precious to those in her life who needed her, in their small town. “You’re right. ‘Sides, you’re the only good part of this town, it needs you.”  _

_ “Well I need  _ you _.” _

_ Guilt wracked through Nicole, but she continued, “I told Pa they’re looking for nurses and comin’ through few miles up north for recruiting,” her voice was steady now, but she could not meet Waverly’s eyes. “But I’m enlisting. Ain’t nobody checkin’ too deep now’days, and I can pass, I know it.” _

_ Waverly’s voice took on an eerie calm, “and you just expect me to wait around, and hope you’ll come back alive?” _

_ “Don’t worry about me no more. You’re better than this. You deserve more than hiding away all the time.” Nicole hung her head. “I just have to get out of here, Waverly. I can’t do this anymore.” _

_ Waverly hesitated, a battle of pleading and stubbornness fought across her features. “You'll get yourself killed is what you'll do. Or found out, and then what?” She reached up, pushing a fiery red lock behind her ear and cupped her cheek.  _

_ Nicole leaned into the touch, the soft palm both grounding her and tearing her heart from her chest. Because she knew, even if she left, that her heart would remain with Waverly. _

Nicole laid back, the fire slowing and the moonlight rising higher into the night sky. She gently placed the tintype back into the pages of the journal and closed it, putting it back into her pack. As she stripped of her coat her fingers brushed the breast pocket and she reached inside.

She pulled a simple gold wedding band from it and ran it through her fingers. It shined in the soft firelight as she held it above her, backlit by the stars above.

She fell asleep with it clutched in her fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on Twitter and attempt to be active! @jbears20


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few more of the heavy feels, but I’ll just say I’m incapable of writing a sad ending...

“Please push in your chairs as you leave, and have a wonderful weekend.” Waverly called over the single room schoolhouse as the children shuffled their supplies into their bags and ran for the door at the back. It amazed her how quickly calm could spread without the restless energy of youth. She sat behind her desk and took a breath for what felt as though it were the first time that day.

It was the same each day. Another had passed, and with the calm came her thoughts, her wishes, her worries, all swirling in the silence that came with the end of the day. The building seemed to creak, the wood and warm air breathing itself. She tried not to think of the days seeing Nicole silhouetted in the afternoon sunshine on the roof just above where she sat, smiling down at her, but her rebellious memories drifted there regardless. 

Unable to resist, she opened the bottom drawer of the solid oak desk she cherished. Nicole had worked painstakingly to craft it as a congratulatory gift when Waverly had become the small town’s new school teacher. Waverly remembered the spark in Nicole’s eyes as Waverly first ran her hand across the polished wood. She had embraced her warmly in that moment, making sure no one was near before kissing her softly in thanks. 

Within the drawer sat an old journal, filled months ago with her thoughts, notes, musings. She lifted it and pulled the weathered slip beneath it out, turning it over to reveal the face of the person she thought of at the end of each day, in the quiet mornings, and often in the most unexpected times. She could never manage, nor desired to, block Nicole from her mind, even as the pain of missing her grew each passing day.

She ran her thumb across the tin-type, placing a new detail into memory, adding it to the small ones she held already in her heart.

_ “You’re sure of this?” Waverly hid the quiver from her voice as she held the scissors to the long auburn hair she loved so much.  _

_ Nicole looked into the small hand mirror she was holding and met eyes with her, only nodding in response. They had argued fiercely in the last weeks and these were their last hours together. The room for disagreement had passed, Waverly resolving that this was what Nicole had chosen and that she would support her, though she could not follow her. They had met at night, making love, being with each other, often risking the daylight creeping in on them before they allowed themselves to part. Each time seemed more painful than the last. _

_ Their only light came from the lantern hung on the lowest branch of their tree, casting them both in soft shadows. Waverly took a deep breath and cut. Locks fell to the grass below them as she transformed Nicole into the next chapter of her life, one that she wouldn’t be a part of, but one that Waverly hoped beyond all reason that she would return unscathed from.  _

_ She ran her hands through the now short strands, hands wandering down her neck and onto Nicole’s chest. She wrapped her arms the remainder of the way around the other woman, pulling her back into her from behind. She rested her cheek upon Nicole’s head and closed her eyes. She felt Nicole’s hands grasp her forearms and hold her in return. She breathed in the vanilla scent that was so uniquely Nicole, and kissed her softly just above her ear.  _

_ Nicole pulled her around and Waverly found herself sitting in the other woman’s lap. She took in the new look, the person Nicole now had to be. Her fingers traced familiar features, not able to meet eyes, however. The strong jaw, lines on her forehead not quite prominent yet from age, the space where her dimpled smile came in when she looked at Waverly. She tried in that moment to commit every detail to memory. _

_ Eventually she felt Nicole reach up, fingers on her chin, and pulled her gaze to meet the brown eyes so close to her. In those eyes Waverly caught the battle of emotions swirling within their depths. The pain of leaving her, the resolution to finding something new, finding meaning, even if it took her far away, but more than all of that, she saw the look of love for her that she’d seen each time she looked into those eyes since the day they met. _

_ Their lips met softly as Nicole pulled Waverly down to her in a passionate kiss, desperately seeking connection one last time. _

_ “I need you,” Waverly whispered between kisses.  _

_ Nicole did not hesitate. She shifted them and laid the smaller woman down into the soft grass, the darkness surrounding them.  _

_ No more words were spoken, none needed as they made love to each other, exploring each other, and committing each feeling, each touch, each taste to memory. It was soft, it was hard, it was passionate, it was tender. _

_ It was everything they needed, save for the promise of holding each other again. And that was the promise Waverly so desperately wanted Nicole to make her, but their futures were now unknown. It was the promise Nicole couldn’t make. Instead she poured everything she had into those moments, greedily taking everything she could and hoping that there would be another time such as that one. _

_ The dead of night shifted to the early morning as the sky lightened from black at the rising sun. Their time had come to an end just as the day began. _

_ Fully dressed again, Waverly joined Nicole near her things. Nicole stood up from where she was packing her rucksack, back facing Waverly. When she turned, Waverly stopped in her tracks at the sight. Hair cropped short, fashioned in trousers and a jacket, Nicole had truly become someone else to the eye. Waverly watched Nicole squirm under her eye, adjusting her clothing, running a hand through her short fiery locks. _

_ Waverly stepped up, stopping her fidgeting, and smiled up at her. WIth the barest touch of her fingers across the still smooth jaw, Waverly took her hand and led her across the field. As she sat them down, she leaned back into the strong arms encircling her. Arms that were home. As Nicole held her close, she looked out beyond the treeline as the day broke the night sky.  _

_ “I love you, Waverly Earp,” she whispered softly, cautious of breaking the spell of peace surrounding them as they watched the sun rise. Waverly felt a shift behind her before gentle hands turned her to face Nicole. _

_ “I… I never knew how I could do it, but I always…” Nicole mumbled and looked down at her hand. Waverly’s eyes followed to find a simple gold band held in her palm. She took Waverly’s hand in her own. “I always imagined I’d be able to give this to you one day, to ask you to marry me… ridiculous, isn’t it?” She laughed nervously, tears threatening in her eyes. _

_ Waverly smiled brightly and pulled Nicole into a gentle kiss, never wishing the moment to end. _

“Miss Waverly?”

Waverly came out of her thoughts with a jolt, tucking the well worn book and image back into its place. She recognized the man who had called her from the door.

She was beyond relieved that the man was not Champ Hardy. It had taken weeks, again and again refusing his advances and staring down the disappointed looks from her father, but he had stopped his daily inquiries and attempts to court her. She recoiled though that the thought that she should have made the decision long before Nicole had decided to leave. But she knew it wasn’t the only reason she’d left. Waverly pushed away her thoughts.

“Mr. Croft!” she immediately chastised herself at the formality.

The striking young man laughed, “Mr. Croft is my father.” 

“Perry. How wonderful to see you! I heard you’d returned home.”

Perry Croft removed his hat and walked in on his crutched leg, his smile momentarily faltering.

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” Waverly added.

“I do consider myself lucky, returning at all,” his tone turned solemn. 

Waverly’s chest clenched as the thought that so many would not be so lucky. That she had no idea whether Nicole was amongst those who weren’t, and pain at the thought of it struck her heart. She refused to believe it though. Some small piece of her soul held onto the thread that connected them while Nicole was still out there somewhere. She knew, but she feared still.

“I assume you’re finished for the day. Could I escort you home?” Perry asked, his tone brightening again.

Waverly stared at him for a moment. Her hand quivered beneath the desk, caressing the bare finger of her left hand and sinking momentarily back into the memory she’d been pulled from. She collected herself.

“Of course. I would be delighted,” She smiled brightly. She’d known Perry all their lives. He was always respectful, kind, and Waverly had assumed he held an interest in her older sister, Wynonna, but it had never happened. He was a friendly face when so many she knew had left. The company could be a welcome change, after all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly makes a decision, and Nicole’s journey comes to an end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, folks. Hoping I didn’t rush through the ending too fast.
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading this little thing!

Her footsteps crunched rhythmically through the auburn leaves that had fallen as the trees turned toward winter. She was used to being alone with her thoughts, long marches with her regiment often turned quiet, knowing what might be ahead for them. The unknown this time however seemed to unnerve her, even more than the thought of potentially marching to her death.

Nearing the midday, recognition struck that she was ever so close to her destination. Her pace sped with her heart as she approached the familiar place. She had come so far. But, as she reached the edge of the wooded patch, she hesitated. She thought of everything that had brought her to that moment, the things she had given away, the things she had seen and how she had changed, and nearly turned back, the force of it all pulling her into herself. She fought it, knowing, hoping with all her being that this was the journey she had to have taken, and that it had been worth it.

  
She ran a hand down the newly purchased clothes, adjusted the tie at her neck. She kept her service kepi on her head though, a small symbol of not only comfort and habit, but one of pride. Regardless of the circumstances that had come while wearing it, she was proud of her experience, of who she had become. It would never leave her.

The water running beside her, Nicole took the last path, one so familiar, to the place she’d longed to come back to since the day she left, imagining Waverly there, immersed in a novel or her journals, serene in the cool fall air. But as she rounded the last edge, she found their tree and nothing else.

***

Three years. Three years Waverly had waited, put her life secretly on hold as she held out hope that Nicole might return to her, that they could find a path to a life together.

Three years since Nicole had left her.

But Waverly knew she was not a woman to simply wait and pine for someone. She’d made a life, a facade to everyone around her. She was successful, an educator, a staple of the town, even as her heart craved adventure. To swim far into the pulsing waves of the ocean, to stand at the vastness of a canyon and look out from high above. She wanted more than the small town and the life she was trying to live.

And Perry was patient. He had courted during the summer months, waiting and hoping for Waverly to reciprocate her feelings. Waverly had resolved to try. Perry was everything she could ask for in a gentleman. Kind, caring, intelligent. He matched her mind and the way she thought, he listened and sparked conversation each time they were together. Even if she could not have the adventures she so longed for, perhaps she could have an equal of mind to share this life with.

And so she walked, one last time, down the familiar path. From her satchel she pulled an envelope, a name written delicately on its front. She was torn with the wish of her love never having to read the note held within it and the hope that Nicole could find happiness in another life after finding it.

But Waverly had resolved to follow the path her life was taking her on, knowing, hoping that Nicole would understand and wish Waverly to live her life to the fullest. She had wished it for Nicole, knowing leaving was what Nicole had to do. She would want the same for Waverly. There was no anger left in her, no regret. She would never forget their love, and she would use it as her life went forward. She could do it because of the strength of their love.

She looked up from the parcel into the field and stopped abruptly.

  
  


***

No one had ever encroached upon their spot, that Waverly knew of, after she found Nicole there so long ago. It was always her place of solace, uninvaded from the outside world. She had longed to find her love there each time she came, and her heart sunk each time she was greeted only by the wind and the water. But now someone was there and while she was brave, she feared who it might be.

As if sensing her presence, the man stirred and looked directly at her. Waverly took a cautious step backward as they stood. She could immediately sense a nervousness in the man, as they brushed their clothes and removed their navy wool cap. It was when Waverly watched them put their hand up to rub their neck against firey red hair that her fear turned to shock. It wasn’t possible. 

The man stood motionless, hesitating, but never breaking eye-contact.

Waverly took a step forward, then another. It couldn’t be.

Another step forward, and then she was close enough to see, to confirm it. Then she was running, sprinting toward them and throwing herself into their waiting arms.

Nicole’s look of relief was followed by a brilliant smile as she gathered Waverly in her arms, lifting her and spinning them both. They held each other for what seemed an eternity. Waverly heard the muffled voice tucked into her neck, “Hey, darlin.”

Nicole lowered Waverly to the ground and met her eyes, now wet with tears and a blinding smile. Waverly’s hands reached up to caress her face. She saw and felt the new lines there, ones not held in the picture she so often looked at. Lines born of age, of experiences she could not imagine. But it was Nicole. She’d come back to her.

_ “I… I never knew how I could do it, but I always…” Nicole mumbled and looked down at her hand. Waverly’s eyes followed to find a simple gold band held in her palm. She took Waverly’s hand in her own. “I always imagined I’d be able to give this to you one day, to ask you to marry me… ridiculous, isn’t it?” She laughed nervously, tears threatening in her eyes. _

_ Waverly smiled brightly and pulled Nicole into a gentle kiss, never wishing the moment to end. But instead of allowing Nicole to place the ring on her finger, she took it, opened Nicole’s palm, and placed it back in her hand. _

_ “You can give me this the day you come back to me,” she whispered, looking deep into Nicole’s eyes. _

_ She watched as emotions swirled within those eyes, a small smile barely held on her face. Fear for what she was doing, where she was going. The chance that she’d never get to do just that. To come back to her. But also hope, hope that she would and that every dream of finding a way to be with her love would come true. _

_ “I’ll have to do just that, then, won’t I?”  _

Nicole reached into her jacket pocket, the small gold band glistening in the sun, almost as bright as Waverly was to her world. She took the other woman’s hand from her shoulder and placed the ring at her finger, but not onto it. She halted, seeing the letter in Waverly’s hand, her name across it.

Waverly looked down as well and paused before saying, “I’m not ashamed of this. I wanted to do what you did, Nicole. Make the most of my life, despite how painful it might be. I hoped, each day you were gone, that you were safe, that you were finding yourself. I didn’t know how long to wait. I wanted to for the rest of my life, but --”

“Your life is yours Waverly, no one else’s. You shouldn’t have to live waiting for me to turn up out of the blue,” Nicole swallowed hard. “I found myself for sure, though. I found the confidence to fight for myself. The confidence to come back to you, and hope that I could deserve you. That I’d found a way to be with you. That I wasn’t too late.”

Waverly looked down at the ring still in Nicole’s now shaking hand, and took it. She gently took Nicole’s hand in her own.

Silence spread between them.

“We can’t stay in town, Nicole.”

Nicole looked directly at Waverly once again and her eyes gained back some of their shine. Hope that Waverly still wanted her grew like a weed.

“I can find work most anywhere. I have papers with my service records, good standing. I’ve heard you’d like to see the ocean, and there’s plenty of work on the coast.”

“Two things, Nicole Haught,” Waverly grasped her chin, pulling her gaze back. 

“First,” she placed the gold band on her own finger. “That, I believe is where that belongs. And second,” Waverly pulled Nicole down into a fierce kiss unlike any they had shared before. Their hands wandered, Waverly grasping the short locks at Nicole’s neck, Nicole’s hands pulling her even closer at her hips.

Finally they pulled away, foreheads resting against each other. 

“We’ll find a way. This time together.” Waverly told her as they stood, surrounded by their love, in the place all their own.

Nicole whispered softly, “Where you go, I go.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Twitter and attempt to be active! @jbears20


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